Three Battles You Are Probably Letting Your Dog Win

If you are in a place where your dog's behavior is becoming stressful, then you have likely developed a habit of letting your dog win. It's an easy trap to fall into - our dogs are oh so persuasive at training US! They spend their days watching us, absorbing our energy, and of course, experimenting with what they can get away with. In an ideal world, our dogs would never even consider having a battle of wills with us, but in reality the battle of the wills is an almost daily occurrence. 

 It is important that we identify these moments so we can be prepared to stand firm and disagree with our dog's behavior the next time. 

Why? Because In dog training, every interaction with your dog counts. The most effective way to getting a tuned-in, respectful companion is to make it clear that you take no s*** and you aren't going to be pushed around. Just like with children, we have to be consistent in what we set out to do, or the bad habits creep back in. 

1. Pushing for attention. 
Your dog comes up to you while you are busy typing at the computer. He nudges at your hands and paws at your legs. You JUST played ball in the backyard for half an hour. Why isn't he tired yet? You try telling him to go away. He continues, clearly oblivious to your wishes. He is pretty cute when he noses your hands, and you love how much he loves you. "Oh, fine" you think, as you reach down to pet him. 

If dogs know that affection is always available, they have no reason to work for it. I repeat: your dog has NO reason to listen to you if he knows you're just going to pet him anyway. Instead of letting your dog call the shots, insist that affection happens on your terms. Why? Because you want your dog to be in the habit of asking permission rather than making assumptions. This is especially important when your dog is pushy or bratty in other areas of life. 

Teach your dog to lie down calmly next to you while you are working so that you can have a respectable amount of personal space. In the dog world, personal space = respect. Alpha dogs don't have their space invaded, and you shouldn't either.

2. Rushing out the door. 
You are heading out for your daily walk. As soon as you touch the leash hanging next to the front door, your dog flips out - whining, barking, and running around. You try to clip the leash to his collar but he is too wiggly and excited, so it takes forever. By the time you're ready to leave, your dog's nose is jammed into the doorway, ready to pull you outside like a freight train.  You know that you should be the leader and exit first, but he pulls so hard, and you feel a little guilty because you know he needs more exercise. "Maybe he wouldn't be so excited if he got walked more," you think.

I have trained many dogs and I can tell you this: a calm exit is necessary for a calm walk. If you can't get engagement or buy-in at the front door, you're going to struggle getting it in the great outdoors. You'll constantly be chasing his arousal level. If your dog is not responding to his regular collar, chances are it is not an optimal means of communication. Don't use the leash as a restraint system, this just causes more pulling as the dog reflexively puts more pressure on the leash. Invest in a good prong collar and/or hire a trainer to fine tune your walk routine. Insist that your dog wait before thresholds, and don't allow him to walk through without a check-in. This is less about who goes first than it is about asking permission. 

3. Letting go of toys/balls. 
You're playing ball with your dog, but it seems to be more a game of keep-away. Perhaps your dog returns with ball in mouth, but won't drop it or runs away when you try to pry it out. You can't really get much exercise in because she won't give it back to you. You've tried "trading" it for a different ball, or another toy, but that didn't work. "Fetch" just isn't happening (see what I did there?) 

This is another instance where your dog is being presumptuous about who the ball belongs to. One of the first recommendations I will make to any training client of mine is to keep balls and toys put away, except when you are playing. This makes it clear that the balls are a resource that you control. Leveraging the things she wants (resources) is a good way to stack the behavioral deck in your favor. 

Finally, teach your dog the "out" command, and hold her accountable every time. She needs to understand that dropping the object in her mouth is non-negotiable. This could actually save her life one day if she were to pick up something dangerous. I teach this to all of the dogs in my training program. 

If you've been letting your dog win, there's hope. All it takes is your decision to disagree with your dog.