Does Your Dog Have a Big BUT? Here's What to do.

“My dog is great BUT he jumps on people and he’s 90 lbs. He’s been banned from family reunions.”

”My dog is great BUT he doesn’t come when called. I am routinely late to work because of it.”

”My dog is so sweet with my kid BUT she growls over her food bowl.”

Some dogs have one really huge, hard-to-miss BUT. And others have lots of smaller BUTS that in aggregate add up to a lot of stress and heartache for the owner. Sometimes the size of the BUT increases over time. As the owner of two dogs who share a giant BUT, I get it. Your dog is great in certain situations, but boy oh boy, when it comes to THAT situation? You find yourself pulling your hair out and Googling dog trainers.

Or maybe you’re one of those owners who has bent so far in the direction of accommodating your dog’s BUT, that the BUT threatens to take over your life. If you can’t leave your home confidently because of your dog’s separation anxiety, I’m talking to you. If you can only walk your dog at 5AM and midnight, I see you too. If you can’t relax in your home due to your dog’s antics, then read on.

Now, I’ll be the first to say: your dog may always have a larger-than-average BUT. Sometimes, we’ve got some genetics in play, or a prior history, or environmental considerations. And, in the grand scheme of things, that may be something you’re willing to deal with. There are many dogs who are excellent with family, but will always need to be managed around strangers. As long as you don’t run an in home clown costume rental shop, that’s probably something that is doable for most folks if the dog is great in every other way. It’s when the BUTS stack up that people get overwhelmed.

If you CAN have a better dog, don’t you owe it to yourself to try? To take the gym metaphor you’ve all been waiting for, if spending 30% more time in the gym resulted in a 50% better body and confidence level, wouldn’t that be a worthwhile effort? Many of my clients are surprised at how much better their lives got in general once they got their dog’s BUTS under control. For many of them, it happened more quickly and much less painfully than they expected. They put in some solid work, yes, but the work translated to results (those enlightened gym rats would refer to these as gainz) that were bigger than expected.

The problem is, so many of us resign ourselves to big BUTS (and butts) without ever getting off the couch. Believe me, I totally get it! Here are two teeny tiny first steps:

1. Take a long hard look at your dog’s BUT. Really peer into its deeper recesses. What do you imagine your dog’s BUT will look like in 2 months? In 2 years? Is that something you’re willing to live with? Is someone likely going to get hurt, or has someone already gotten hurt?

As someone who has seen dogs at every stage of BUT growth, I can tell you, it is the rare dog whose leash reactivity, resource guarding, or stranger danger just spontaneously goes away. It is the rare human who can lose weight without trying. And let me tell you, there ain’t no quick fix liposuction waiting down the road for these dogs whose owners allow their BUTS to keep growing. Generally the only thing that results is a dog’s gradual loss of freedom and inclusion.

2. Realize the size and shape of your dog’s BUT is dependent on YOU. Generally speaking, most of my clients have a period of struggle to come to terms with exactly how out of hand their dog’s BUT has gotten. They know there is a problem (or they wouldn’t have reached out) but have gotten into the habit of ignoring, minimizing, or framing the situation in a less-than-helpful way. My goal for every one of my clients, if possible, is to be able to put a period at the end of the phrase “My dog is great.”

Remember, BUTS generally don’t get smaller without a reason. It is up to you to decide whether you want a period at the end of the sentence, or another BUT.

Now, I want to hear from you: What is your dog’s BUT and is it getting smaller or bigger?