Dog Training is Terrible

Dog training is terrible, in fact it can be a giant pain in the ass. Getting a puppy is fun, petting them is great, watching them play with your kids is usually cool. But the thing about dogs is they just keep on….behaving…long after your’e done petting them or playing with them. You have to constantly watch what they’re doing so they don’t destroy any of your shit. They don’t stay put when you tell them to, so you’re constantly wondering where they scampered off to and what God forsaken item they have ingested now. You have to sometimes stop them from doing things they want to do, like running in traffic, because it will hurt them. They tend to throw a fit when you stop them from doing things that will hurt them. None of this is any fun at all, it’s often downright miserable. Despite this, you’re completely besotted by your precious dog and you could never live without them.

Dragging your dog to a training class with seven other barking maniacs sucks, like a lot. It feels like a giant waste of time and you can barely hear anything over all the barking. Yelling at your dog at home, after they destroyed yet another set of earbuds and ate the pillows on the couch, also sucks, and you feel like shit afterwards.

This is why you should hire a dog trainer. Will hiring a dog trainer turn you into someone who talks about reinforcement schedules at dinner parties, or someone whose dog can stand on top of fire hydrants while waving? Maybe. Probably not. At best, hiring a dog trainer is going to mean you can clean up a few less shit stains on the rug, and your spouse can enjoy her at home Yogalates workout without the dog repeatedly punching her in the uterus. Hiring a dog trainer won’t make you into a dog trainer - it won’t mean that you have to start competing in dog sports, or going to dog shows. You won’t have to say “TSST” to your dog. It will simply help you understand your dog a bit better, and figure out what needs to happen to make life a little more bearable.

Here’s the thing. People are different. Some people like ballet so much they will do it professionally and even teach it to your kids. Some people are so good at drywall that you can even hire them to do it in your home. Some people like Yogalates so much that they will pay for a class on it. And some of us even teach Yogalates.

Some people like dog training & behavior so much that they do it professionally, for other people. They will even live with your dog and train it. Thank sweet baby Jesus for that. You should go talk to those people, and figure out what needs to be done with your dog. Could you figure it all out on your own? Probably, if given enough time. Do you really want to? Your wife wants to do her Yogalates video TONIGHT.

Hiring a dog trainer means you can talk to someone in plain English about what your dog really needs on a day to day basis to behave in a way that doesn’t completely suck for everyone around him. Livable would be a good word to describe what most people are shooting for. Bearable would be another one. You’re willing to do some stuff to make the dog livable, but not other stuff, so getting with a trainer is the quickest way to figure out WHAT things you need to do, and what things are waste of time. It’s not like you’re unwilling to do ANY work. You just want the work, to work. You have some inkling that if your dog could behave better, you’d walk it more, take it more places and play with it more. You’re not asking for a little robot. A good trainer will put you on the path to YOUR goals for your dog, and not waste your time with time sucking protocols that you will end up resenting.

If you, like the rest of us, are just looking to get by on a day to day basis without any major shit shows (or shit stains), you should call us. Maybe we could help.